"It's white sox all the way back to the boat. Careful, they're marked."

I'd like to discuss what I believe is an epidemic. Although I'm fairly certain there has never been any formal research done, I just know there are other experts out there like moi who have been witnesses. The epidemic, people, is socks. White socks. Long, slightly slouched down but slightly pulled up, clean as if new, White. Socks.

I can't find any correlation that sticks, but there are some common ones:

White socks (always as previously described, unless otherwise noted) with:
-Puffy, clean, marshmallow-like white sneakers. Probably reserved for indoor use only.
-No socks.
-Topsiders or other boat worthy shoes.
-People on cruises.
-People who mall-walk.
-People in pictures from the 80's.
-People wearing black shoes. If you're not MJ, you can't. So then nobody can can they because the dude isn't alive. RIP.
-Socks with sandals. Just..no. N.O. no.

I thought at one time that this was an American specific epidemic. Mais non. I have witnessed other nationalities white-socking it. What I don't understand is, with all the variety and oh, have I mentioned fashion choices out there in terms of comfortable, athletic footwear and accompanying socks, why would you reach out your hand for the set that might as well come with a bullhorn so that you can yell, "Rip me off! I am nervous about the amount of walking I'm going to be doing, so I've got on these super duper comfortable, discreet socks here to bolster me! You there! Two streets away! You ready for me? I'm looking for a bargain and I know you've got one for me! I've never even heard of Puma or Converse! Reebok three-strap Velcro forever!"

Now, I review this and I think, wow, I am a total bitch. But you know what? I'm not alone. When I mentioned this to a friend in Mexico - at a stop on our cruise - he knew exactly what I was talking about. In fact when we left him, with about seven blocks to walk back to the ferry, he warned us that it would be white socks the rest of the way down the road. He knows this is the way to spot the tourists. We didn't want to be lumped into this category even though we were also on the cruise ship. We opted for flip flops, which, on a rainy day in the streets of Mexico, in a part of town where the sewage backs up in storms, left us feeling totally awesome about not having sneakers and big white socks. Totally. Awesome. Clean, too. Real clean.


just for fun, and also to prove that I am not alone:
fashion questions the white sock.
tacky tourists in Lisbon and white socks.
This is so awesome and relevant that I almost made a whole seperate entry about it!!

You know what's wicked fun? Coming home from vacation to find an ant nest. In your kitchen. Super!

So I really, really, REALLY can't complain about my life. Sure, some stuff really blows wind up my skirt, but then the wind dies down, y'know, it's all good.
So the wind this time is ants. Lots of them. Teeny, tiny ants eating a perfectly good wooden wine rack thingy. Now, who's to say that this doesn't happen elsewhere. Not me. I recall my father using superbly creative forms of the F word to describe the damage done by termites to a wall in the tv room.

THE TV ROOM.

It is strictly forbidden to do harm to this room at my parents house. In fact, now that I think of it I recall my father using even more creative forms of the F word among other four letter words (some three) to describe what was happening to the area of the rug where my mom would do aerobics ala Jane Fonda in front of the tv. Sacred space.

So, the ants. These freaking ants were marching from the sliding glass doors to the top of the cabinets. Couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Nothin' up there. So, I got up on the counter to peek at the top. Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww. Then I left the nest for the Pirate to clean when he got home. Ain't love grand?