Meltdowns, gambling, and why can't shit just work?

Every few weeks or so I have what I refer to as an 'I hate Gwada' meltdown. I don't hate Gwada. I don't necessarily understand Gwada, but I don't hate her. She tests me. Constantly. She tests me and she pushes me to use a lot of something I don't have much of: Patience. No seriously, I missed the line for that. I managed to come into this life equipped with the minimum, but I do believe somewhere along the way I should have received a notice of some sort with a code or something, instructing me where to go and fill out forms and in return receive more patience. It never came. It was probably sent using La Poste in Guadeloupe...ba dum dum...I'll be here all week.

The most recent meltdown arose as usual from a number of small things building up and resulting in meltown. Small annoying things in summary:

-bank card has not arrived and I was told I would have it in a week, twice. It's been five weeks.
-Work still has not paid me. I have been working since March 1.
-I had to reset the internet twice today.
-I got a flat tire and had to go to four gas stations to find one with an air pump.

Things came to a boil and then exploded. The Gwada Fit led me to decide that our plans to build a home should not happen. No really, I'm frightened at the prospect of trusting my home to the evidently incapable hands available to us here in Guadeloupe. I mean, nothing gets done in time, if at all. Okay maybe nothing is a bit of an exaggeration, but what I lack in patience I make up for in dramatic effect.

Here's the thing: we need to build a home. Who wants to throw money down the weird island toilet every month on rent? I'd like to make it interesting though. I'll use that to cover up my intense fear of the house building ending up in unfinished, cinder block disaster. Let's place bets. Vegas style, baby! Once our plans have been approved, I say we place bets on the day we are able to enter our home and begin living there. We'll say the time-frame is from groundbreaking to key-using. I'll present this to our circle of friends and we'll see how many takers we get. Hey it's something to pass the time. Me, I'm saying right now that from ground breaking to key using will be two full calendar years plus three months. Boom.

What say ye?